Seashells

                                                     Seashells

            

    She walks along the Beach and collects water for herself and Seashells
    for someone little that she loves very much.

    She talks endlessly in her head as there is no one else to talk to
    nor things that she could share

    She listens to the waves and the painful clarity of her deepest thoughts.
    Thoughts revealing internal realisations of cruel realities
    she was so very naive to imagine they could never be possible.

..........  . /.  ..........     

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    i

    Some thoughts she wishes the waves could wash away
    together with the pain and the burden they carry.

    There are moments she feels like she is the loneliest woman on earth
    -but she knows this not to be true.
    His watchful eyes and support are always there.

    She often walks into the gentle waves along the shiny
    bright path of the Sunlight and imagines closing her eyes
    as her body starts to float gently and quietly above the water
    remaining there until all her thoughts, and all her feelings
    and all her memories are dissolved
    and nothing remains to bind her anymore
    and still remains there ... floating free, beyond time
    wrapped in the golden rays of the Sun and the wet transparent raindrops
    of a summer shower and the magic silver of the Moonlight
    until she finally comes to know that this too is part of a dream

                                        

                   in which her eyes will never open again...

                                                  * * *

This was written quite some time back

when first MYF took Over Both my Body and my Life

and condemned me into a self imposed cruel isolation 
from the ones i loved most, 
in order to protect them and safeguard 
against possible contamination and devastating effects.

My condition has dramatically improved since then

due to my constant alertness to the problem, 
close observation to every aspect detectable, 
extensive research and efforts to control it 
with every available substance.

Nowadays its ferocity finally down by 80%

i am Enjoying a much Better, more Liveable Life

and the contact and support of my beloved family.

Keeping fingers crossed, it will all last,

if not even improve more

and my Story, Efforts and Methods

may Inspire and Help many more people...


                         Sonata